The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
