Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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