he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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