It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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