Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
