I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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