I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
