First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
