Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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