i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
