Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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