I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
