so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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