if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
