i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
