Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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