he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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