Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
