She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
