Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
