why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Randomize
