I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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