I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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