shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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