A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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