Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
