New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
