Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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