Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
thus making me awesome and them whores
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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