turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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