Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I puked a lego.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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