the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
