marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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