dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
