DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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