Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize