My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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