I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize