do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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