and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
