I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
