Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
