Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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