I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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