if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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