My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
