we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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