You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
