I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
