I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
