I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
