The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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