You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
