Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
this just has baby written all over it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize