If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
