with your own penis?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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