Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
pray to the hookup gods
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
