4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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