I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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