my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
