Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
